Whip Me, Beat Me, Make Me Write Bad Checks

Life, love and Sex and the City, part 16: Drama Queens

Photo by Saeeed Karimi from Pexels

Butterflies. They are elusive, beautiful, and short lived. They appear and disappear at random. Butterflies are thrilling, not only for their brilliance but also for their illusive nature.

I think this is why we have labeled the flutters of new romance as having butterflies in your stomach.

As everyone knows, the blush of infatuation does not last. The adrenaline alone required to maintain this state would surely cause thyroid failure in us all if it continued much past the earliest point in a relationship. But oh, what a ride: the instantaneous excitement when your phone buzzes and it’s them, the constant wonderment of connection laced with possibility, the flame of desire that burns through rational thinking. Infatuation is way better than any drug.

Of course this is temporary and for most of us evolves into state of comfort and peace that is meant to sustain us for the long term. There are many of us, however, who cannot escape the high. As life settles in and passions die down, they continue to recreate the rollercoaster experience of a relationship’s beginning with an endless series of dramatic blow ups over issues both small and large. For some, if it isn’t an earthquake, it’s quicksand. In my experience, these kinds of people are the ones who become trapped in abusive situations. It is easy to blame the abuser, and there is never an excuse for abuse of any kind, but to pity the abused partner is to ignore the part that they play in the cycle, rendering them powerless to ultimately change the pattern and escape for good. Drama Queens is the episode where Carrie begins exploring the question of whether or not she will ride the rollercoaster in her relationships.

Carrie is once again in the coffee shop with Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha, this time in awe of how settled and calm her relationship with Aidan is. The girls are in very different places. Miranda and Steve have reached the stage where sex is predictable and laundry is the thrill ride. Samantha is getting high on her new man and Viagra. Charlotte is still questing for Mr. Right. Carrie is having trouble with the lack of games Aidan plays; so much so that he has asked her to meet his parents…